The Pursuit of Happyness

The Pursuit of Happyness is a movie, a true story, based on Chris Gardner.

That "y" in happyness is because we want people to think about what makes "you" happy, what's the source of your happiness. - Chris Gardner

The movie is about the struggle one goes through in life to fulfill ones dreams. But you can only relate to it if you've ever gone through one of those phases in life..

Ever had dreams to achieve something? Aim..Ambition..Aspiration (little as it may be, important to you)

Ever had to struggled for it?

Ever prayed...desperately?

Did you hold on to that little bit of hope...wanting a better tomorrow?

With each passing day, did the dream seem to slip away from your hand and fall to the ground?

And as more days passed by did you feel its not only on the ground but someone mercilessly trampled on it?

Ever felt the loss?

Ever cried bitterly in total helplessness?

Ever wondered ..complained.. questioned...lived the misery?

Ever ever sat, totally blank, without any movement just tears rolling down ?

Ever looked up at the sky and longed for a miracle?

Ever reached a point thinking your dream might turn out to be your worst nightmare and feared you might fail...but tried hard to push the negative thoughts out of your head?

And when you fought your fears to find a better day, when the dark clouds suddenly vanished, the joy you didn't know how to express with a sudden sense of peace within...

You know you survived.

Unseen Efforts

Havn't we all at some point in our lives looked at another for what they have achieved and wished that we could also do something like that?
But is it so hard to see someone else successful?
I too in a subtle way at some point have been there (thankfully not anymore).. but what about the story on the other side?
You can see you can see the achievements, the benefits, the glory...but what you cant see is the pain, the efforts, the commitment to achieve.
In school and college, if you happened to study or even be seen with your head into some book you'd be termed as a "scholar"and for those who've been there know its not a very pleasant feeling. Atleast not for me, because I know im not one, Im an average student who puts in some efforts, believe me im not just being modest, I have never topped my class. But that in no way means I dont want to...I want to, someday...
Recently, I had a different kind of an experience -
He : So done with studying scholi ??
Me : why are you assuming im a "scholi" ??
He : Im not assuming, I know.
Me : Really? Like you know me in and out!! (being a lil sarcastic)
He : No, not that way but I knw..
Me : I am not a scholi, but I am trying to be....rather I am making efforts to be..nobodys born genius.
He : Yeah good one! (I still don't know what he meant by that)
Im not saying I've worked really hard and I truely deserve it and all that, but at the same time its not sheer luck..I, in my own way, am making little efforts to achieve my goals.
Next time you want something, dont just sigh or put someone down because you yourself are too lazy to work for it, just strive for it.
Let's learn to appreciate the other persons efforts too...maybe we can learn something from the other person...and that would be what my negotiations professor says "a win-win" deal.

Too confused to decide.

For any situation when I have found it difficult to take a decision and have looked for any advice I've most often got the "think about it and decide" or "listen to ur heart" or "do what you feel is right"..etc..which eventually doesnt help and im in the same confused state.

You can decide on something quickly if u think and feel in the same way about it but what if your mind says something and you feel something else.

Sometimes the mind prods you on to saying something to your friend or your parent. It tells you "Say whatever you think is right. You must say it and let the other person know how you feel. Just say it". And listening to your mind, you say whatever it was that you wished to say. After a few hours that very same mind tells you "you shouldn't have said all that, you know. You should have kept quiet. Now see how you have hurt the other person".

Do you see the games you mind plays with you? Hence, learn to manage you mind.

- An Excerpt from Mind it : Are you incharge of yourself by Dr. Meenakshi Shivram.

If I put myself in this situation my mind would have thought its the right thing to let the other person know...however I would only do it right away if it will help the other person in any way. I wont feel guilty even if the other person feels bad because I know the other person will benefit from it, infact I will try to do it in a way the other person understands my intentions.

But what is right according to me, maynot be right according to others.

We cannot keep everyone happy...sometimes on trying to be righteous also you end up hurting people because no two people will think alike.

When I say something to someone for my benefit, and the other person is hurt, I feel guilty for being selfish. I would avoid being in such a situation as much as i can but that is not possible everytime.

There may be a situation where I have to do the right thing, support someone and in the bargain hurt someone else/myself, it gets worse since although im listening to mind, I know deep down in my heart I want it the other way.

And sometimes it hurts even more because you think and feel the same way about something but you end up doing something else because of society, family, etc..

Mind : Thoughts that tell you what is right or wrong or logical, sometimes considers how you feel and how others feel.

Heart : Thoughts again but deeper and stronger, that doesn't always care for what is right or wrong, cares for wants/desires...on a deeper level cares for other peoples wants or desires. These thoughts directly control our feelings.

So basically its just thoughts.

When there are multiple thoughts you just perfer one over the other and make a choice.

When there are conflicting thoughts its gets confusing.

Mind Management :

Its about managing your thoughts. But it only says about steering away from negative thoughts and just having positive thoughts...and ways to achieve this. While this helps to a certain extent, I dont really agree that it solves the problem of confusion completely.

While there is a lot of self-help literature available to think good and live life better it doesn't really help lessen the confusion in the decision making process.

Eg: A little gurl wants to buy her brother a birthday gift, but she has just enough money to buy some food for her poor family..a gift for her brother or food for the family??

We take decisions depending on our priorities, we make mistakes, we learn.

No matter what goes on in our minds or what we feel..finally, our choices reflect the person we are/become.

Happy Realization !!

It was the first day after the summer vacations and I was having a talk with a group of children at the center where I teach. I was talking to them the about their "goals" for the next academic year. And as I was talking, I realized something common between us. 

We knew about our goals, we knew what we wanted, we had a desire to achieve, we knew what was required to achieve it, but we didn't have a plan - A well defined approach to achieve our goals. 

Understanding what is required of us to achieve the goal is important but equally important is deciding how are we going to strive to achieve it and to constantly remind ourselves of our commitment we make to ourselves to achieve our goal.

I looked back at my life and realized that whatever I achieved is because I liked doing it..I really wanted it..I was willing to put in my best for it..and I had a proper approach to achieve it.

Just that I didn't realize it all this time, but now its crystal clear.

Theres so much to do...

No this is not a complain by an extremly busy person. This is something I realised in one of my most idle moments.

Sometime back I found myself doing nothing. Literally. Initally I felt pretty relaxed..then followed the period of being lazy and finally boredom set in. I began complaining a lot. I was just sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. Friends were all busy with their own lives..and I dont like to go out alone.

Time passed at snails' pace. Facebook, Orkut and Gtalk actually reflected my state of having all the time in the world. But there was no end to boredom.

Then one day as I sat alone lost in my own thoughts I realised what a waste I was ! I didn't want it to be that way. I had to deal with this situation. I didn't want to sit and just complain how boring life is. I wanted to do something about it. I didn't want to waste this time..I knew I'll never get it back..and I wanted to live these moments instead of wasting them.

Friends suggested..learn salsa..learn swimming...do this ..do that... But I wasnt convinced. I didn't want to shell out a lot.

I took a pen and paper and wrote down all that I could do, all that had to be done but I didn't, all that I wished to do. By the time I finished writing I had a page full. It wasn't the case that I had nothing to do...I knew the cause ...I was too lazy, there were so many mundane things and I kept overlooking them, there were somethings I did not want to do just out of dislike.

I have begun working on my "to do list".

For all those who find themselves in a similar situation..and for those who have spare time..I have a few suggestions (you can have your own list though..)

- Read a book ..Read blogs..Read any thing of your interest (theres plenty of info on the net).

- Learn to cook..find simple receipes on the net and cook for your loved ones (chopping veggies ..kneading dough ..its such a stress buster! )

- Start cleaning...clean your cupboard..you'll find thing you are not using and wont use it in future..donate it!! (clothes..story books..anything that you don't need ..that can be used by someone else)

- Call up/mail a long lost friend...plan to meet up ( nostalgia..but its wonderful going back in time occasionally..and for all you know you might as well have a lil reunion)

- Make a list of what you wish to accomplish and how you will go about it (it can be anything..personal or professional goals..and when you feel most dejected read it..its really motivating)

- Recycle/ reuse..(search on the internet how you can recycle and reuse stuff available at home..you can challenge your creativity also).

- Life management!...get organized..chalk out a plan for yourself (it cud be about time management..resource management..personal development..anything...but stick to it!)

- You can also enroll yourself for any course, learn a sport, learn dancing, plan out a picnic for your family n friends, visit an elderly person, join an ngo.......

Pheeww ! Theres sooo much to do....

Endurance

I stay on the third floor...and my computer is near the window...and when i sit there i look out often. I wouldnt call it a picture perfect view ...there are a few trees, a playgroud that is now covered with puddles, a few buildings.

The trees are the closest.
I have seen these trees for years....torn kites entangled on the branches during the kite flying festival...pink flowers during summer...fresh green shade of the leaves during the monsoons..a few branches falling too!
I have seen birds take shelter here...mate(or maybe trying to)..build nests..lay eggs..the eggs hatch (ok i havnt seen them lay and hatch the eggs)...parent birds feeding young ones and teaching them to fly...and finally before i know theyre gone.
I have seen pigeons, crows, ravens, sparrows occasionally chameleons and butterflies and yes once i saw a robin too! But mostly its the pigeons here...Or wait they just hangout at my window parapet. When all the birds sit on trees..they prefer my window and entertain me with the "gurrr-gurrr" sound.

Yesterday i looked out ...pigeons on the tree...surprising...they've finally realized where they belong! But yesterday was no ordinary sunday...it was raining heavily...and yet these birds chose to sit on the tree instead of my window parapet. Well it does irritate me..that gurrr gurrr sound they make and they poo all over the parapet. But im not insensitive, i wouldnt have shooed them away if they took shelter (i have never done that before!)...they would've been safe and dry.
I watched them for a while ...they were totally drenched yet they stayed there.They dint look very happy...they sat far from each other...occasionally shaking themselves to remove water from their wings.
I wondered what they must've been thinking....were they thinking : why god, i have not done wrong to anybody then why do i have to go through this? or...i dont deserve this!! Were they thinking what am i gonna eat ?..i cant get any food in this weather and im hungry.! were they thinking wot if it doesnt stop raining...ohh no ! We're all gonna die!!
ok i cant figure out what they were thinking...i wonder if they were scared!
They sat there calmly.
It started blowing..the branches swayed with the strong winds..but they did not move...they just tightened their grip on the branch.
They were silently enduring it all...

1 hour, 2 hours...ok i was fedup now...i went to sleep...when i woke up i looked out...there sky was clear...it had stopped raining. They had gone.

So many times we go through "emotional crisis".
We complain..question god...question others ...question ourselves..look out for answers...blame others...yet others give-up.
When infact all that is required of us is Endurance!!

U Can.

Start afresh, its a new day
Throw all your worries far-away
Let go all that you are holding within
Give yourself a chance, a new life you can begin

Try out stuff, something new
Something you thought you could never do
Don't be afraid to try new things
You'll be amazed to know what joy it brings.

Make some effort
It wont go in vain
Theres nothing to lose
Yet so much you can gain

I know its not easy
But give it a thought
In your inhibitions
Do not get caught

You can overcome all your fears, thats all i wanna say
Where there is a will..there is a way !!


There have been times where i havnt done things just because i was too scared...i thought if i dint do it well the first time i tried people would laugh at me... So everytime i just let opportunities (to learn) go by...i dint do things that i really felt like doing...i wanted to save myself from embarrassment.
But like its said nothing ventured ..nothing gained.
So i made up my mind that i will not be afraid to try new things.
Since then i have "accomplished" a few things.....
* i dint know i can write stuff like this...but i tried...Result---just waiting for the comments
* i finally learnt to ride the kinetic...(ok falling down on the main road wasnt fun..). Result---a ride 70km/hr on an empty road...(Dad plz buy me a kienee...plzzzzzzzz !!)
* i've eaten black forest cake and pineapple cake (ok this was not so difficult...and its not as bad as i thought.....R im sure u'll be happy bout this). Result---now R you cant tease me anymore...haha
* i went bowling wid frends (even though the ball seemed to weigh more than me...hehe.... somehow managed ...plz dont ask me about the score ;) ) . Result---had fun.

Now i have realised that fear should never keep me from learning.