Desiderata

(This article was shared in class during a session on ethics.)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery but let this not blind you to what a virtue there is, many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Do not feign affection neither be cynical about love for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of the youth.
Nurture strenght of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not disturb yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born out of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be and, whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

Unseen Efforts

Havn't we all at some point in our lives looked at another for what they have achieved and wished that we could also do something like that?
But is it so hard to see someone else successful?
I too in a subtle way at some point have been there (thankfully not anymore).. but what about the story on the other side?
You can see you can see the achievements, the benefits, the glory...but what you cant see is the pain, the efforts, the commitment to achieve.
In school and college, if you happened to study or even be seen with your head into some book you'd be termed as a "scholar"and for those who've been there know its not a very pleasant feeling. Atleast not for me, because I know im not one, Im an average student who puts in some efforts, believe me im not just being modest, I have never topped my class. But that in no way means I dont want to...I want to, someday...
Recently, I had a different kind of an experience -
He : So done with studying scholi ??
Me : why are you assuming im a "scholi" ??
He : Im not assuming, I know.
Me : Really? Like you know me in and out!! (being a lil sarcastic)
He : No, not that way but I knw..
Me : I am not a scholi, but I am trying to be....rather I am making efforts to be..nobodys born genius.
He : Yeah good one! (I still don't know what he meant by that)
Im not saying I've worked really hard and I truely deserve it and all that, but at the same time its not sheer luck..I, in my own way, am making little efforts to achieve my goals.
Next time you want something, dont just sigh or put someone down because you yourself are too lazy to work for it, just strive for it.
Let's learn to appreciate the other persons efforts too...maybe we can learn something from the other person...and that would be what my negotiations professor says "a win-win" deal.

Too confused to decide.

For any situation when I have found it difficult to take a decision and have looked for any advice I've most often got the "think about it and decide" or "listen to ur heart" or "do what you feel is right"..etc..which eventually doesnt help and im in the same confused state.

You can decide on something quickly if u think and feel in the same way about it but what if your mind says something and you feel something else.

Sometimes the mind prods you on to saying something to your friend or your parent. It tells you "Say whatever you think is right. You must say it and let the other person know how you feel. Just say it". And listening to your mind, you say whatever it was that you wished to say. After a few hours that very same mind tells you "you shouldn't have said all that, you know. You should have kept quiet. Now see how you have hurt the other person".

Do you see the games you mind plays with you? Hence, learn to manage you mind.

- An Excerpt from Mind it : Are you incharge of yourself by Dr. Meenakshi Shivram.

If I put myself in this situation my mind would have thought its the right thing to let the other person know...however I would only do it right away if it will help the other person in any way. I wont feel guilty even if the other person feels bad because I know the other person will benefit from it, infact I will try to do it in a way the other person understands my intentions.

But what is right according to me, maynot be right according to others.

We cannot keep everyone happy...sometimes on trying to be righteous also you end up hurting people because no two people will think alike.

When I say something to someone for my benefit, and the other person is hurt, I feel guilty for being selfish. I would avoid being in such a situation as much as i can but that is not possible everytime.

There may be a situation where I have to do the right thing, support someone and in the bargain hurt someone else/myself, it gets worse since although im listening to mind, I know deep down in my heart I want it the other way.

And sometimes it hurts even more because you think and feel the same way about something but you end up doing something else because of society, family, etc..

Mind : Thoughts that tell you what is right or wrong or logical, sometimes considers how you feel and how others feel.

Heart : Thoughts again but deeper and stronger, that doesn't always care for what is right or wrong, cares for wants/desires...on a deeper level cares for other peoples wants or desires. These thoughts directly control our feelings.

So basically its just thoughts.

When there are multiple thoughts you just perfer one over the other and make a choice.

When there are conflicting thoughts its gets confusing.

Mind Management :

Its about managing your thoughts. But it only says about steering away from negative thoughts and just having positive thoughts...and ways to achieve this. While this helps to a certain extent, I dont really agree that it solves the problem of confusion completely.

While there is a lot of self-help literature available to think good and live life better it doesn't really help lessen the confusion in the decision making process.

Eg: A little gurl wants to buy her brother a birthday gift, but she has just enough money to buy some food for her poor family..a gift for her brother or food for the family??

We take decisions depending on our priorities, we make mistakes, we learn.

No matter what goes on in our minds or what we feel..finally, our choices reflect the person we are/become.

Friend or Acquaintance ??

Yesterday was Friendship Day.

Back then:

There was a day in my life when I returned home from college with my hand full of bands and messages scribbled on.

My mother found it very amusing ...I told her thats how friendship day was celebrated.

And now:

She asked "ohh, no bands this time?"

Back then:

The whole day was spent at college..tying bands...to so many people...(making new friends)

And now:

Spent the day at home..didn't meet any of my "friends"..spoke to them over the phone.

Back then:

I thought everyone who tied me a friendship band or sent me a message was my friend...or had become my friend.

And now:

I know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.

I received many messages yesterday...from friends who became acquaintances and from acquaintances who became friends.

My facebook/orkut profile says I have more than 100 friends.....I thought to myself....really??

To my acquaintances: Thank you for coming into my life...for teaching me..for making life a little easier at some point...and above all for not forgetting me.

To my friends: Thank you for being my friends.

The struggle for an admission

I have been trying to get an admission for mms/ post graduation in business management..and the whole process has been really frustrating.

First - the wait (the whole process takes almost 8 months), second - the fight for seats (too many students and few seats available) and third -the way the entire process is handled itself causes frustration..(lack of notifications to useless helplines to name a few reasons).

The quota system...I feel maybe there was a need for it at some point of time now its just misused/abused (except quota for the physically challenged). What position merit holds, I have no clue...(im talking about my merit here, consider above average). And the rich get seats, influence also works, the rest have to struggle...

Belonging to a minority community, I had a chance too, but didn't apply for the quota reserved seats. Honestly, I just thought I didn't need a quota seat, thought I will get a seat on the basis of my merit...in a better college.

But I strongly believe we do get another chance... I believe everything happens for a reason. I have got another chance...my last chance (atleast for this year)..I am waiting.

Blog Makeover

I came across a blog and really liked the look of it.

And then when I saw my blog again, I found it very plain and boring in comparison.

I searched for a few templates from my dashboard but didn't find anything interesting...

I searched on the internet and found many fancy and some not so fancy templates but there was nothing I really liked.

This is my blog..how can I put something I don't really really like..

When I finally found something I liked...I couldn't upload it.

After breaking my head over modifying the code for almost an hour, I gave up.

Coding has never been my cup of tea..so I left it at that.

I saw the template on the site again and I liked the picture more than anything.

So I took the picture link from the code, modified it a lil and uploaded it here.

Since the colours of my blog were not going well with the pic, I changed that too, as per the colours of the template I wanted.

After the makeover...I am very pleased with the new look.

Change is refreshing. :)

That Empty Feeling..

Sitting silently in a corner..on my own..not knowing what to do or where to go...
Nothing seems to matter anymore. A feeling of sadness grips me. A feeling of helplessness follows.

Staring into the open space..longing for a miracle..
Little changes can make life seem so different...n what a difference it has made!

So engrossed in my thoughts oblivious of everything around...nothing seems to exist anymore.
A void state..a blank mind.

With a little tear in my eye...I say a silent prayer.

Happy Realization !!

It was the first day after the summer vacations and I was having a talk with a group of children at the center where I teach. I was talking to them the about their "goals" for the next academic year. And as I was talking, I realized something common between us. 

We knew about our goals, we knew what we wanted, we had a desire to achieve, we knew what was required to achieve it, but we didn't have a plan - A well defined approach to achieve our goals. 

Understanding what is required of us to achieve the goal is important but equally important is deciding how are we going to strive to achieve it and to constantly remind ourselves of our commitment we make to ourselves to achieve our goal.

I looked back at my life and realized that whatever I achieved is because I liked doing it..I really wanted it..I was willing to put in my best for it..and I had a proper approach to achieve it.

Just that I didn't realize it all this time, but now its crystal clear.

Seasons in the Sun

As a child I used to eagerly wait for holidays. Summer holidays...Diwali holidays...Christmas holidays. Summer holidays were prefered because its longer plus the academic year ends so no studying till June.

I remember, every year, on the last day of my exams, after I came home from school, my mother or my grandmother used to take me to my cousins place. My bag was packed and ready, before I even got back from school and after quick lunch (so excited that vacations have begun) off to my cousins place.
Every vacation that I can remember, I have spent at my cousins place. I loved to go there. Firstly, since there were very few children in my building (maybe 3 including me)
and no girls around my age whereas at my cousins place there were so many kids (complex like building with many wings..and many many children) And I had my cousin. Being the only child, I liked being around my cousin and imitating her ways (yeah she is elder).

Playing games, from house house..teacher teacher to hide and seek, red letter and sakli (to name a few), the teams ..whos on whos side if any fight takes place..the "i'll tell my mother.. go tell im not scared", fighting on why it always has to be my dine and treatening not to play sensing someones cheating, fighting for whos chance it is to ride the cycle..who has taken how many rounds, discovering some weird shaped stone and spreading weird stories about it, running
around in rubber bata slippers and poking the strap into the hole each time the strap came off while running during a game.

After some years things changed...we were in secondary..the girls wouldn't play with boys, the boys wouldnt play with girls...the boys played football or cricket, the girls just hung around the building corners..talking (about boys..girls...fashion....anything).
Then, in college we were too busy meeting college friends and going for movies, shopping...the playground was taken by the kiddies.

Now everyones grown up..moved elsewhere...married..settled..lost touch with all the children I ran around with..now they are probably running after their children.

I think about that playground...I think about those times...I feel nostalgic.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...but the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone.

So Shallow

Such coarse sensibilities, yet such nauseating lives.

- Cyrus Merchant.

We always give so much importance to ourselves ...but do we care about others in the same way?

Little things annoy us...we vent out our frustration on others...do we care if we've ruined another person's day.

We think of our convenience, even fight for it...but we don't bother to think that if life seems unfair to us it maybe the same or even worse for the other person.

We do things for others and expect so much in return...when we do not get anything from the same people we're so disappointed...we resolve not to do anything henceforth .

We want people to be there for us and understand us...are we there for them?..do we understand them?...we think we do, but do we really..without expecting anything in return??

We label people by the clothes they wear and by the people they talk to...we don't know what they are going through or why they do what they do...maybe its easier to label than to understand or to accept them for who they are.

We ask for opinions...yet we are not ready to accept the opinion we asked for, if it doesn't match with our opinion. We are so affected by criticism, we get offended so easily, we take things personally even if it wasn't meant that way.

We pray that we dont run into trouble, we want an easy life...all lessons may not be easy...when will we pray that we grow and understand the fullness of life. One setback and we are shattered...how fragile we are...dreaming big but lacking courage to fight for our dreams...we give up so easily...it only shows we don't deserve it.

We don't reach out to people, we always think of it as "going out of our way"...why don't we make it our way ??

We smile, we can see the smiles on peoples faces too...but if we bother to look in the eye, we'll see their tears...but our tears blur our sight.

I Live, I Learn

Life is like a book,
Every experience, a new chapter
Living is not enough, we must learn.
Learning is not enough, we must share.
When we share, we learn from others too.
But, most importantly, we must live, implementing what we have learnt.

Lowliness

I am ashamed to admit...I envy your life,
Nothing against you...I'm just feeling deprived.

The person I want to be

What has happened to me ? Why am I behaving differently? Why am I thinking differently? I am no longer the person who I used to be...

As time passes by, people change...but this is not how I want to be.
Once understanding, now unreasonable. From composed to impulsive...And it just doesn't end here.
I do not like this change.

I do not know how it happened. I do not know when it happened.
But I know that I want to change..again..for better.

I want to be the person I would like to describe myself as.

I want to be...the person I want to be.

Theres so much to do...

No this is not a complain by an extremly busy person. This is something I realised in one of my most idle moments.

Sometime back I found myself doing nothing. Literally. Initally I felt pretty relaxed..then followed the period of being lazy and finally boredom set in. I began complaining a lot. I was just sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. Friends were all busy with their own lives..and I dont like to go out alone.

Time passed at snails' pace. Facebook, Orkut and Gtalk actually reflected my state of having all the time in the world. But there was no end to boredom.

Then one day as I sat alone lost in my own thoughts I realised what a waste I was ! I didn't want it to be that way. I had to deal with this situation. I didn't want to sit and just complain how boring life is. I wanted to do something about it. I didn't want to waste this time..I knew I'll never get it back..and I wanted to live these moments instead of wasting them.

Friends suggested..learn salsa..learn swimming...do this ..do that... But I wasnt convinced. I didn't want to shell out a lot.

I took a pen and paper and wrote down all that I could do, all that had to be done but I didn't, all that I wished to do. By the time I finished writing I had a page full. It wasn't the case that I had nothing to do...I knew the cause ...I was too lazy, there were so many mundane things and I kept overlooking them, there were somethings I did not want to do just out of dislike.

I have begun working on my "to do list".

For all those who find themselves in a similar situation..and for those who have spare time..I have a few suggestions (you can have your own list though..)

- Read a book ..Read blogs..Read any thing of your interest (theres plenty of info on the net).

- Learn to cook..find simple receipes on the net and cook for your loved ones (chopping veggies ..kneading dough ..its such a stress buster! )

- Start cleaning...clean your cupboard..you'll find thing you are not using and wont use it in future..donate it!! (clothes..story books..anything that you don't need ..that can be used by someone else)

- Call up/mail a long lost friend...plan to meet up ( nostalgia..but its wonderful going back in time occasionally..and for all you know you might as well have a lil reunion)

- Make a list of what you wish to accomplish and how you will go about it (it can be anything..personal or professional goals..and when you feel most dejected read it..its really motivating)

- Recycle/ reuse..(search on the internet how you can recycle and reuse stuff available at home..you can challenge your creativity also).

- Life management!...get organized..chalk out a plan for yourself (it cud be about time management..resource management..personal development..anything...but stick to it!)

- You can also enroll yourself for any course, learn a sport, learn dancing, plan out a picnic for your family n friends, visit an elderly person, join an ngo.......

Pheeww ! Theres sooo much to do....